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Ultimately this will be a blog page with links to this and other commentaries.

 

An off-the-cuff Facebook post that turned into a web page instead.......

 

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Why Don't We Talk About This?

 

With the vast array of dynamics within the world of sexual abuse, it can seem a little overwhelming when one attempts to plot a course in the fight against it. Probably one of the reasons lots of people simply don't talk about it.  

If you're reading this you fall into one of two categories.  

1) you're one of the 1 in 3 females or 1 in 6 males who have experienced some sort of sexual abuse 

 ~ OR ~

2) you know one or more (probably MORE) of the "1 in 3 or 1 in 6".

There's no getting around that.

There's no getting around that. 

There's no getting around that.

But what the heck do you/we do with that fact?

I've long known that people just don't want to talk about sexual abuse for a variety of reasons. And then it hit me a few nights ago. Not so much of an epiphany... okay, maybe it was. But it hit me - if we can talk about and figure out and establish the WHY's about why we DON'T talk about this, then maybe we can begin to have an honest discussion about it from there. From every angle and every viewpoint. Perhaps that's where we need to begin as a society.

The obvious viewpoints include: the abuser (I really don't give a hoot about your viewpoint though), the "silent partners" in the abuse (the "look the other way'ers") and, of course, the abused. I'm sure there's a wide variety of other viewpoints we could apply (friends, family members, coaches, teachers, etc.).

 

  

             - Chapter 4, "The Unkindest Cut of All: The Legacy of
               Childhood Sexual Abuse" (pg. 77), Marilee Strong

 

So help me (your web tech) out here. I'm familiar with the variety of reasons the abused don't want to talk about it (understandable yet very misplaced reasons of shame, guilt, etc.,  none of those of their own fault or doing), PTSD -- even years or decades later -- can be central to many of those stories. I get it. I'm familiar with the "silent partners" reasons as well ("I simply don't believe he'd do that to his own daughter", "he's our only support, and if I say something the family will fall apart", etc.). I get that, too.

But help me out here, because that's (may be?) where we start to talk about sexual abuse - by defining and establishing why we DON'T talk about it in the first place.

If you'd like to help me shed some light on the topic of why society doesn't talk about sexual abuse, please don't hesitate to message me at Facebook, comment at Facebook if you're feeling bold (go for it!) or use the e-mail link below. Or if I've misspoken, said something that you think/feel is inaccurate or you simply want to lash out, I'll take that, too. Feel free.

We're all in this together,
Your Web Tech
 
UPDATE: Check out this great article from Psychology Today

Why Adult Victims of Sexual Abuse Don't Disclose

Questions, comments, concerns or suggestions? E-mail.

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